I'm jealous of your bromance
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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