I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
