What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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