Are we in a gay sports bar?
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
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