My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
