We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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