I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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