I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
