I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
