my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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