It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
