I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I wish life had little blips of pornography
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
