I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
