One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize