So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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