fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
