everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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