it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
