So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
