do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
