he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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