Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
