operation have a gay friend backfired
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
