Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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