When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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