Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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