You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize