Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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