No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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