sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
