I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
babies were throwing up all over the place
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
