Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Randomize
