Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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