Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
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