Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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