Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
