we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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