Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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