is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
porn star boner night. come get it.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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