I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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