hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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