Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
