Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
