I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
