Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Randomize
