Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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