White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
