this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
