You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
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