Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
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