Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
