your parents love me but you hate me
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
