I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
