sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize