those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
