My nipple is on Facebook.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
