you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
you traded sex for a burrito?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
COCAINE IS GR8
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
