Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
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