You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
