don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
