For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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