you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Randomize
