can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Randomize
